By: Robert Cavuoto
High on their latest CD release, All You Can Eat, Steel Panther continue their musical attack on the United States this fall by opening for the masters of metal, Judas Priest.
Steel Panther had their highest chart debut with, All You Can Eat. It landed at #24 on the Billboard Top 200 and garnered their third consecutive #1 album on the Top Current Comedy Charts.
The band is made up of Michael Starr on lead vocals, Satchel on guitar, Lexxi Foxx on bass and Stix Zadinia on drums.
I was able to catch up with guitarist, Satchel, while on a drinking binge at the legendary strip club in Hollywood, The Body Shop.
We talked about the level excitement fans will experience while seeing Steel Panther live with Judas Priest and to get a deeper introspective look into some of the band songs off their new CD.
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Robert Cavuoto: What did you have to do to get on that bill opening for Judas Priest?
Satchel: We didn’t have to do anything freaky; we were the obvious choice because we rock the hardest!
Robert: What do you think it will be like?
Satchel: I think it will be awesome; what couldn’t be more awesome than Judas Priest and Steel Panther on the same night!
Robert: What do you have to say to the people that will be hanging out in the parking lot drinking and who may miss Steel Panther?
Satchel: If people are in the parking lot while Steel Panther’s playing and don’t make the effort to see us, they either have no idea what they are missing or are really stupid. Either way, I can’t help them because they don’t know how awesome we are and must be living under a rock.
Robert: What is the spiritual message behind the artwork on the new CD?
Satchel: The CD is called, All You Can Eat, and the cover concept uses the most appropriate photo about eating, the iconic image of the Last Supper.
Strangely, the Last Supper didn’t have any food on the table or any hot bitches, so we decided it redo it the way it should be done. If you were having your last meal wouldn’t you want pizza, sushi, and cookies? I think we exceed expectations of updating it.
Robert: Referring to your song “Pussywhipped”, what advice can I give to a buddy of mine who is pussywhipped?
Satchel: When your pussy whipped you’re usually the last guy to know. All your friends know immediately, even the chick that you’re with knows. That’s the nature of the disease.
It’s like being hypnotized and made to act like a chicken. Everyone is laughing at you while you clucking and walking around like a chicken. Usually it’s easier to see that you were pussy whipped after the fact. Easy to tell then, but really hard to tell when it’s going on.
The best thing to do is kick your buddy in the balls and yell at him. Maybe then you can wake him up.
Robert: “Bukkake Tears” is a beautifully touching ballad that shows a softer side to Steel Panther. What can you tell us about it?
Satchel: There are ballads on all of our records that show how sensitive we are.
“Bukkake Tears” is one of the greatest ballads ever written. It really more common than people would think. A lot of hot girls want to get screwed by ten or twelve guys. Even your girlfriend or wife may want that too. If you’re a cool dude, you will give their lady what she wants.
Unfortunately, when the act starts to happen, most guys realize that it’s not as cool as they originally thought. They want to stop, but when you get ten or twelve guys to take their pants off for easy action, there‘s no stopping them.
Robert: Is the song “Glory Hole” a true story?
Satchel: Everything Steel Panther has ever written is a true story. These are real life experiences that have happened to the band. I frequent a place just like that one down the street from where I live. Any time I need someone to be gob on my knob, I just head down there.
It’s a beautiful thing. I’m keeping some illegal aliens working. I know it’s politically incorrect to say that, but I don’t care. No turning back when your pants are down!
Robert: What was the inspiration behind the song “”Fucking my Heart in the Ass?”
Satchel: Everybody has felt that way sometime in their life. For me, it was just putting my whole body inside my heart.
If you were in jail and you had to take a shower it’s the last thing you want. It’s the most vulnerable part of your heart.
That’s the inspiration for that song.
Robert: What is the best thing about being “Satchel?”
Satchel: To be extremely good looking. I have low cholesterol and I’m extremely well endowed even though I don’t post selfies of my penis, is extremely girthy. I write really awesome songs. I’m also very sensitive to woman’s feelings [Laughing] just kidding. Hearing me say that sounded really funny. [Laughing]
Robert: What is your best fortune cookie wisdom?
Satchel: Wow, I would have to say, “Party like tomorrow is the end of the world!” What could be better than that! If you got a fortune cookie with that message, you would have to party that day because it probably true!
Everyone knows that fortune cookies are true 60% of the time.
Robert: Where will we find Steel Panther during down time on the tour with Priest?
Satchel: I’m at the Body Shop in Hollywood, a strip joint, right now and have been here all night. That’s what I like to do. I party when I’m on or off the road. I always party. Some people think I take a break from that shit, no way. That’s what we do.
Robert: Finish the following sentence for me: Sex, Drugs, and _____?
Satchel: Sex, Drugs, and Steel Panther!
